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Spirit Stories: In Your Own Words

Crones Disease

By: Peter Kelly

(Not to be confused with Crohn's disease, which is classified as an inflammatory bowel disease.)

It all started in Tucson, Arizona at the Cross Cultural Center run by Doug Boyd. Confidante of the Dalai Lama, that charisma drew hippies, New Agers, and fake medicine men. It was also the birth of the Ice Queen, memorialized in the children's favorite, the Chronicles of Narnia. Constance and Karl Brickwight were your typical east coast dropouts from well-to-do families or rather Constance was. Karl actually had nearly completed an engineering degree before he dropped out. Everyone knew Karl by his two notable Rasta braids that he tied from his full beard. Constance was a vivacious hippie momma, always the life of the party.

Most of the story takes place in the Pacific Northwest. First, though the development of Planetary Earthtones, the multi-million dollar studio of Karl Brickwight, came into being from Tucson and Sedona, Arizona. Cosmo was a talented paraplegic who lived in Sedona. Karl played a mediocre silver flute and joined Cosmo for a recording. Cosmo played Sitar and other sorts of exotic instruments. Cosmo's recording studio was well engineered for the time. Promising Cosmo fame and glory, Karl walked off with Cosmo's studio for free and moved to the Pacific Northwest.

Relocated to Bellingham, Washington, the Ice Queen began her first climb and descent from power. Karl had discovered a studio technique called beat frequency or brain-wave entrainment. When Kevin and Morning Star met, it seemed a mismatch made in heaven. Morning Star had two little girls and a pre-teen son from three different hippie dads free love and all that except for the mom. Kevin had trained as a Marine, but decided that life was not for him. His rich mom lived on San Juan Island and helped the young couple get on their feet. They moved into a fixer-upper that Constance and Karl owned across from their studio. Kevin, being the tall, handsome Marine that he was, set to with a will. Morning Star cooked gourmet hippie food for the whole lot, including Karl, Constance, and their two little ones. Yes, the Ice Queen once had children of her own.

Only, one strange thing became apparent at this time. Her two children were pale, insipid, and looked like starved fungi growing beneath a moldy board. It was curious to wonder where their life fire had gone. At the time, the Ice Queen began to age prematurely. Most attribute this to her time dancing naked on the Arizona desert. However, the aging progressed quite rapidly, and a once attractive woman seemed to have lost twenty years between ages forty and sixty. Their business was rapidly expanding.

Karl manufactured an incident at Constance's urging. They booted Kevin and Morning Star, their three children into the cold one January. They then sold the fixer-upper to begin expanding their music business. Beat frequency was actually a discovery of Bob Beck of the U.S. Office of Naval Surface Weaponry. If two frequencies for a given note were consistently spaced at a frequency below audible sound, the brain was fooled into hearing that sound. Find the right interval and a good recording engineer could induce altered states and get his music to sell like hotcakes. That was the secret of the Brickwight's success in the New Age music industry.

It wasn't quite that simple. Networking and green marketing still required Constance to donate to environmental causes and become known in New Age circles from Seattle to Vancouver, B.C. They thought she was a nice, elderly hippie an American success story. For the Ice Queen to perform, she had first learned to extract the energy of her children. That gave her the power to suck energy from hippie children. With a bank account of life force, she could astral travel into the dreams of prospective clients and incline them to be receptive to her husband's music CDs. This was a risky venture for the Ice Queen, but she was young and foolish. She had not yet learned to cross worlds. Sometimes time dislocation could cause premature aging.

Determined not to die young, the Ice Queen prepared to invest her life force in eternal youth. The bargain sealed, she could only live on cold, snow-laden worlds taken from the fire of living beings. Aslan watched all this with benevolent good humor. He allowed the Ice Queen her transient glory to temper his children. Her reward was warmth beyond her wildest imaginings in the Eternal Lake of Fire.

Amen.

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